232 | Lost in Motherhood? How Counseling Helps Moms Reconnect with Themselves

Have you ever felt like you've lost yourself in the demands of motherhood? You're not alone. Dive into how counseling can help moms reconnect with their sense of self, rediscovering who they are beyond the roles of “mom,” maid, chauffeur, and everything else.

In this episode of Moms Without Capes, I’ll share how therapy provides tools to set boundaries, practice meaningful self-care, quiet the inner critic, and release the unrealistic expectations that weigh you down. We’ll also talk about the ripple effect—how prioritizing yourself can lead to more balance, joy, and stronger relationships with your family.

If you’ve been feeling stuck or overwhelmed, this episode will give you hope, clarity, and the first steps toward feeling like you again.

If you’re ready to take that first step, here’s what to do:

1. If you’re in Montana, go to www.momswithoutcapes.com/start to book your free consultation with me. Let’s see if counseling is the next best step for you.
2. If you’re outside Montana, join the Moms Without Capes Facebook community to connect with other amazing moms on this same journey.

Transcript

How Counseling Supports Moms Feeling Lost in Motherhood
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[00:00:00] Have you ever looked in the mirror and wondered, where did I go? Motherhood can be all consuming. Leaving you feeling like you're just the maid, the cook, the chauffer and everything else for everyone else. But here's the thing. You don't have to feel this way forever. In today's episode, we're exploring health counseling. Can help you rediscover the, you that's been buried under the demands of motherhood. If you're ready to feel more like yourself, again, stick around. This conversation is for you. Welcome to moms without capes. The podcast where you'll get practical strategies for reclaiming your sense of identity beyond motherhood. I'm Onnie Michalsky and my goal is to help you prioritize your needs and carve out space for yourself so that you can discover who you are beyond your role as a mom. For years, I was buried under piles of dishes and endless loads of laundry. [00:01:00] Constantly putting my family's needs above my own. 

I felt overwhelmed. Exhausted. And really just completely invisible. It seemed impossible to carve out time for anything that didn't directly revolve around my family. But everything changed. When I finally decided to move myself up on my own to do list. I started prioritizing things that brought me joy and fulfillment, allowing me to reclaim my sense of worth and take ownership of my life instead of feeling like I was just constantly managing things for everyone else. As a mom of six, I know firsthand the struggle to juggle it all. 

But through years of learning, growing, and shedding, the supermom identity. I've discovered how to live in alignment with my needs without guilt. And now I'm here to help you do the same. You don't have to lose yourself in motherhood. Together, we can hang up the supermom Cape and embrace a more joyful, balanced [00:02:00] life. 

This is moms without capes. I'm so glad you're here today because we're talking about something. I know a lot of us have felt at one time or another. That sense of losing yourself in the demands of motherhood. If you've ever found yourself thinking, who am I any more beyond being a mom or feeling like all you do is cook clean drive and take care of everyone else. 

You're definitely not alone. This is such a common experience for moms. The responsibilities pile up. The mental load feels endless and somewhere along the way. Our own identity can get buried under the hats we wear. I've been there myself. As a mom of six, I've had plenty of moments where I felt like I was just drowning in all of the roles and expectations that come with motherhood. I remember one particularly chaotic season. When I realized I couldn't even remember what I enjoyed doing for [00:03:00] fun. Everything in my life, revolved around everyone else. 

It was a wake up call for me to start carving out space for myself. And I'll be honest. It wasn't easy at first. But over time, I learned how to make myself a priority again, and that's something I now help other moms do too. In today's episode, I'm going to walk you through how counseling can help moms who felt low, who feel lost in motherhood. We're going to talk about practical ways that therapy can help you set boundaries. Quiet that inner critic reconnect with your sense of self and start to feel like you again. My hope is that by the end of this episode, you will feel empowered to take that first step. Towards rediscovering yourself. Now let's start by unpacking this feeling of being lost in motherhood, because if you're feeling this way, I want you to know you're not alone [00:04:00] and you're not imagining it. It's something so many moms experience and it makes perfect sense. 

When you think about everything that we're juggling. First let's talk about the societal expectations and pressures that we face as moms. There's this constant message that a good mom should be available. 24 7. Always be patient, always be giving and never need anything for herself. We're told to sacrifice to put our families first, no matter what. And on top of that. Social media doesn't make it any easier. It's filled with perfectly curated images of motherhood. That make us feel like we're falling short. 

Then there's the habit that so many of us fall into. Putting everyone else first. As moms we naturally want to care for our kids and our families. But somewhere along the way, it can start to feel like we're the last person [00:05:00] on our own priority list. And when we don't tend to our own needs desires, or even interests. It's pretty easy to lose touch with who we are outside of being mom. And let's not forget the sheer overwhelming nature of caregiving roles. We're managing schedules meals. Homework. Laundry. Emotional support. You name it? It's like carrying a never ending to do list in your head. And that mental load. Can completely drown out any space for yourself. It's exhausting and it leaves little room for self reflection. Or joy. 

But as I said, you are not alone. 

So many moms feel this way. It's common and it's definitely not your fault. You've been conditioned to believe that this is how motherhood supposed to look. But the good news is that it doesn't have to stay this way. [00:06:00] And that's where counseling comes in. Therapy is a supportive judgment, free space. Where you can begin to explore these emotions. It's a place to just say out loud, the things that you've been holding inside, the things you might feel too guilty about sharing with anyone else. And instead of being met with judgment or advice you're met instead with understanding and guidance. Counseling can help you get curious about why you feel this way. And it gives you tools to start shifting your experience. 

You don't have to carry this all on your own and you don't have to settle for feeling lost. Therapy can help you find yourself again. 

So what exactly does counseling look like? Let's talk about it because I know for a lot of people, the idea of therapy. Might feel a little mysterious. Or [00:07:00] even intimidating. But in reality. Counseling is such a supportive and transformative. 

Process. Especially for moms who feel like they've lost themselves. First and foremost counseling. Is your space. It's a safe, nonjudgmental environment where you can just come as you are, share your thoughts, feelings, and challenges, and just be honest. You don't have to pretend to have it all together. You don't have to sugarcoat anything in therapy. 

It's okay to say things that you've been holding back because they might feel too much. Or not okay to share with someone else. This is your time to be real. And feel truly heard. What I love about the counseling process. Is that it's a partnership. My role as your therapist, isn't to tell you what to do or to give you quick fix advice. [00:08:00] Instead, I'm here to guide you. To ask the right questions and to help you uncover the solutions and insights that work best for you. Think of it as working together to create a map that leads you back to yourself. But you are the one holding the compass. Now because I'm trained in CBT or cognitive behavioral therapy. A big part of our work together will focus on the connection between your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. 

Here's how it works. Often the way we think about a situation influences how we feel about it. And that drives how we respond to act. Sometimes those thought patterns aren't really serving us. For example, you might think I'm failing as a mom because I don't enjoy every single minute. And that thought can spiral into you feeling guilty. Frustrated or even hopeless. In therapy, we [00:09:00] identify those negative thought patterns and we gently challenge them. We look at whether they're accurate or helpful, and we work on reframing them into something that's more realistic and compassionate. For example, instead of thinking, I'm failing as a mom, We might shift it too. 

It's okay. To not enjoy every moment. I'm still a good mom who loves her kids. That kind of shift can be so freeing. 

We also dig into how your thoughts, feelings and actions are interconnected. Maybe you're feeling overwhelmed because you're just taking on too much. But underneath that is a thought, like I have to do everything myself because no one else will do it. Right. Once we understand what's fueling those feelings and behaviors. We can start to make changes that help you feel lighter and more in control. 

One thing I want to [00:10:00] emphasize. Is that counseling? Isn't a one size fits all approach. Every mom is different and every journey is unique. In our work together, we tailor everything to your specific needs, challenges and goals. Maybe you need help setting boundaries. Or maybe you're just struggling with some self-esteem or mom guilt. Wherever you are. We start there and we work at a pace that feels comfortable for you. Ultimately therapy is about giving you the tools and the support you need. To reconnect with yourself and create a life that feels more balanced, joyful. And aligned with who you truly are. 

It's not about fixing you because you're not broken. It's about uncovering the person you've always been and then helping her shine again. And that's what counseling looks like. It's empowering, compassionate and [00:11:00] entirely yours. Let's keep going and explore how this work can help you address some of the most common challenges that moms face. 

There are some specific areas where counseling can really make a difference for moms who feel like they've lost themselves. These are the key challenges that so many of us face in motherhood. And therapy can provide the tools and support you need to address them. Let's start with boundaries. Because this one. Is big. As moms it's so easy to say yes to everything, whether it's volunteering for every school event. Taking on extra responsibilities at home, or just feeling like you have to do it all. 

But the reality is when we say yes to everything, we end up saying no to ourselves. In counseling. We work on understanding why it's so hard to say no. And then how to start setting boundaries in a way that protects your time and [00:12:00] energy. This doesn't mean that you stop caring or helping others. It just means learning how to prioritize your own needs to. We practice ways to communicate your boundaries with confidence and without guilt. Because when you set clear boundaries, you'll create the space you need to focus on what truly matters, including your own wellbeing. 

Next is self care. 

And I know this term gets thrown around a lot. But in therapy, we get real about what it actually means. Self care isn't about bubble baths or spa days. Unless those things truly fill your cup. It's about finding small, meaningful ways to care for yourself every day. Maybe it's taking just five minutes to sit quietly with a cup of coffee in the morning. Going for a walk, journaling, reconnecting with a hobby you used to love in counseling. 

We figure out what self-care looks like for you. And how to make it a sustainable part of your routine. [00:13:00] Because when you take care of yourself, you show up as a stronger calmer version of you for your family. And most importantly, for yourself, 

Now let's talk about that inner voice. You know, the one that says you're not doing enough, or you're failing at this mom thing. That inner critic or I like to say. The inner mean girl. Can be relentless. And it often feeds into perfectionism and guilt. In therapy, we use CBT tools. To identify those negative thought patterns and challenge them. We work on shifting the dialogue in your head so that it's more compassionate and supportive. For example, instead of, I can't believe I didn't finish everything on my to-do list today. We can reframe it too. 

I accomplished so much today. And it's okay to rest now. This shift in [00:14:00] mindset can be incredibly freeing and can help you let go of the unrealistic standards that you might be holding yourself to. 

So many of the pressures we feel as moms. Come from deeply ingrained beliefs about what it means to be a good mom. These expectations might tell you that you should be with your kids 24 7, never need a break or always have a clean house. But here's the truth. These beliefs are often unrealistic. And unfair. Counseling helps you uncover where these expectations are coming from, whether it's societal messages. Maybe family traditions or your own perfectionism. And then start to release them. Together. 

We work on defining what being a good mom looks like for you in a way that feels healthy. Balanced. And [00:15:00] achievable. 

Another area. Counseling focuses on his self-esteem. It's so easy to tie yourself worth to how well you're managing everything as a mom. But you're so much more than the roles that you play. Therapy helps you reconnect with your identity. Beyond motherhood. We explore. What makes you, you, your passions, strengths and values. And work on building confidence in who you are as a whole person. Because you're worthy and valuable just as you are not because of how much you do for others. 

One of the things that many moms struggle with is being fully present. It's hard when your mind is racing with to-do lists and replay moments where you feel like you just didn't measure up. In therapy, we practice some mindfulness techniques that help you ground yourself in the present moment. This [00:16:00] might be as simple as focusing on your breath. Or tuning into the sights and sounds around you. Being present allows you to enjoy your life more fully, whether it's savoring a laugh with your kids or finding a moment of peace just for you. 

Finally, let's talk about relaxation because let's face it. 

Relaxing is easier, said than done. When your mind is constantly going. In therapy, we explore strategies that help you truly unwind. Whether that's through deep breathing meditation or finding activities that bring you joy and calm. Learning to relax. Isn't about ignoring your responsibilities. It's about giving yourself permission to rest so that you can recharge and show up as your best self. 

And honestly, this one might be one of the most important skills that we work on because it impacts every other part of your life. These are the key areas where counseling can help moms who feel lost in motherhood. Whether it's [00:17:00] setting boundaries, quieting your inner mean girl, or just learning how to breathe and be present again. Therapy gives you the tools to create a life that feels balanced, joyful, and aligned with who you truly are. Let's keep going and talk about what this transformation can actually look like when you start to reclaim your sense of self. Now, while the journey is deeply personal and unique for every mom. There are some incredible shifts that many moms experience when they prioritize their mental and emotional wellbeing. First and foremost counseling can help you feel more like yourself again. Imagine, waking up and feeling connected to who you are. Not just as a mom, but as a whole person. 

You begin to reclaim the parts of you that may have been over shattered by the demands of motherhood. Whether it's your passions, your confidence. Or just the simple joy of having a little space for yourself. Therapy helps you [00:18:00] reconnect with the version of you that you want to be. And this shift doesn't just benefit you. 

It ripples out into your relationships. When you start showing up for yourself, you also start showing up differently for the people around you. Your relationship with your partner can improve because you're no longer carrying all of the mental and emotional load. 

Instead of feeling resentful or overwhelmed. You might find it easier to communicate set boundaries and truly connect with each other again. 

And with your kids, they'll feel it too. When you're less stressed and more present your interactions with them. Become more meaningful. You're able to enjoy those moments with them because you're not constantly running on empty or running through that to do list that's in your mind. And believe me, kids notice when their mom is happy and fulfilled, it creates a healthier, more positive environment for every single member of the family. 

But [00:19:00] perhaps the biggest shift. Is within yourself. Counseling helps you tap into a sense of joy, balance and confidence that might have felt out of reach for a long time. You start to feel empowered, to make choices that align with what you truly need and want. That confidence spills over into every area of your life, whether it's setting boundaries, pursuing a goal, or simply being able to say, I deserve this without guilt. And here's something I really want to emphasize. When moms prioritize themselves, it creates a ripple effect for the whole family. You're modeling something so powerful for your kids, that it's okay to take care of yourself, to set limits. And to pursue what makes you happy? You're showing them. That being a mom doesn't mean losing who you are. And that's a gift that they're going to carry with them. 

Ultimately [00:20:00] counseling. 

Isn't just about solving problems. It's about creating a life that feels more authentic and fulfilling. It's about reclaiming your identity, strengthening your relationships and finding that balance where you can thrive as both a mom. And as you. This transformation is absolutely possible. And it starts with that very first step. Let's wrap up by talking about how you can get started on this amazing journey. 

All right. 

Moms, as we wrap up today's episode. 

All right. As we wrap up today's episode. I want to leave you with this. Feeling loss in motherhood. Doesn't have to be your forever. Counseling is a powerful tool. That can help you reconnect with who you are, build confidence and create a life that feels balanced and joyful. [00:21:00] If today's conversation resonated with you. I would love to invite you to take the first step. By scheduling a free consultation with me. This 15 minute call is a chance for us to connect and talk about what's going on for you. We'll explore what you're feeling stuck with, what you want to change and whether counseling is the right fit to help you move forward. You'll leave the call with a clear understanding of your next steps, whether that's working with me or perhaps exploring another option. Now here's something important to know. I can only see clients for counseling. If you live in Montana. That's because my counseling license is specific to Montana residents. But if you're not in Montana, don't worry. There are incredible counselors all over. Who can support you on this journey? And I truly believe finding the right therapist can make all the difference. [00:22:00] If you're outside of Montana, I still have something pretty special for you. I'd love for you to join my Moms Without Capes Facebook community. It's a supportive space where moms from all over the world come together to share their journeys, lift each other up and learn how to reclaim their sense of self within motherhood. Inside the group, you'll find resources, live discussions and connections with other moms who get it. It's a great way to start taking steps towards the transformation that we've talked about today. So if you're ready to take that first step, here's what to do. If you're in Montana. Click the link in the show notes to book your free consultation with me. Let's see if counseling is the next best step for you. And if you're outside of Montana, Join the moms without capes Facebook community to connect with other amazing moms on the same journey. Either [00:23:00] way, you don't have to do this alone. 

You deserve to feel like you again, and I'd be honored to help you take that step. Thanks so much for listening to this episode of moms without capes. As you learn from listening, counseling can help. If you feel like you've lost yourself in the chaos of motherhood. It can help you find your way back to who you are beyond a mom. And give you the tools to set boundaries. 

Take care of yourself without guilt. Quiet that little voice that says you're not enough. Remember. That you're more than just mom. And when you start to feel like yourself again, it's amazing how much better everything else in your life can feel too.. Remember you are 100% responsible for your own life and for creating the joy that you want to feel. Stop living on autopilot. Slow down, check in with yourself and please above all take care of yourself because you, my friend are worth it.