226 | No Pressure, Just Play: Exploring Hobbies Without Perfectionism

There is power in play! By rediscovering hobbies, moms can reconnect with their sense of self beyond the demands of motherhood. Many of us fall into the trap of thinking every moment needs to be productive or perfect, but what if joy lies in doing things just for fun? In this episode of Moms Without Capes, we explore how hobbies offer a space to break free from perfectionism, reduce stress, and build self-esteem—without the pressure to excel or turn every passion into a side hustle.

Tune in to learn practical ways to reclaim hobbies, including a fun Hobby Sampling Challenge designed to spark curiosity and joy. We also share tips for overcoming time constraints, battling inner criticism, and finding community in playful ways. If you’ve been craving moments of fun and connection, this episode will inspire you to embrace play as an essential part of self-care.

Key Topics:

• The Need for Play and Exploration
• A Playful Approach to Reclaiming Hobbies
• The Emotional Benefits of Playful Hobbies
• Overcoming Obstacles and Shifting Mindsets

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Transcript

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[00:00:00] When was the last time that you did something just for fun without worrying about how good you were, who was watching? Or if it was worth your time. As moms we've been conditioned to believe that every minute must be productive, whether it's cleaning, organizing, working, or planning, even our hobbies can start to feel like obligations. As if every activity. needs to have a purpose, a goal, or a result. To be valid. But what if that constant need to perform and achieve? Is exactly what's keeping us from feeling like ourselves. What if the real key to reconnecting with who you are beyond motherhood? Lies in something as simple as play. Play doesn't come with a to-do list. It's about freedom, curiosity, enjoy without expectations or end goals. It's the space where we can color outside the lines, try new things. And most importantly, let go of the idea that we [00:01:00] need to be good at everything. Welcome to Moms Without Capes. The podcast where you'll get practical strategies for reclaiming your sense of identity beyond motherhood. I'm Onnie. 

And my goal is to help you prioritize your needs. And carve out space for yourself so that you can discover who you are beyond your role as a mom. For years, I was buried under piles of dishes. And endless loads of laundry, constantly putting my family's needs above my own. I was overwhelmed. Exhausted and felt completely invisible. It seemed impossible to carve out time for anything that didn't revolve around my family. But everything changed. When I finally decided to move myself up on my own to-do list. I started prioritizing things that brought me joy and fulfillment. Allowing me to reclaim my sense of worth. And take ownership of my life instead of feeling like I was just [00:02:00] constantly managing things for everyone else. As a mom of six, I know firsthand the struggle to juggle it all. But through years of learning, growing, and shedding, the supermom identity, I've discovered how to live in alignment with my needs. Without guilt. And now I'm here to help you do the same. You don't have to lose yourself in motherhood together. 

We can hang up the supermom Cape and Embrace a more balanced. Joyful life. This is Moms Without Capes. Today we are exploring how embracing play, not just for kids, but as a tool for self discovery. Can help you reconnect with yourself beyond the roles of mom, wife, or caregiver. Motherhood can often make us feel like every moment must be productive. But play. Offers freedom, joy and curiosity, without the pressure to Excel. By letting [00:03:00] go of perfectionism and trying things just for fun. You can be ignites parts of yourself that may have been lost to the demands of parenting. If you've been craving joy, fun, or simply the feeling of being you again. This episode will show you how to silence the inner critic. Release guilt. And reclaim your identity through playful exploration. And towards the end of the episode, I'll share with you how you can get your hands on a resource that will help you reclaim your sense of self beyond motherhood by lightening the mental and physical loads you are carrying. So don't go anywhere. Let's dive in. When you become a mom. Everything changes your routines, your relationships, your identity. And how you think about time. One of the biggest shifts that happens is that time starts to feel really scarce. There's always something demanding your attention, whether it's the kids, the house work, or [00:04:00] just the invisible mental load of managing everyone else's needs. In this new reality, doing something just for yourself. Especially something that doesn't have an obvious purpose. Can feel almost impossible. Even wasteful. Society doesn't make it any easier as moms we're surrounded by these messages that we have to be productive all the time. It's not enough to just have hobbies for fun. We're pressured to Excel at them. If you're painting it better look good. 

If you're learning yoga, you better stick with it and master it. There's this underlying expectation that even leisure activities need to be performed at a high level. And if they're not. It can feel like we're failing. Even at relaxing. This mindset can really keep us stuck. Unable to even explore the things that we once loved. we tell ourselves I don't have time to get good at this. 

Why even [00:05:00] bother starting. But what if we flip that? What if the whole point of a hobby wasn't to Excel at it? But simply to enjoy it. What if there was value in doing something just because it's fun. Here's the thing. Play isn't just for kids. Us adults we needed to. Play allows us to step out of our roles and routines to experiment and explore without the pressure. It gives us permission to try new things without worrying about the outcome. When we engage in playful activities, whether it's dancing, painting, journaling, or gardening Our brains light up. Research shows that play helps spark creativity. Relieves stress and boost emotional wellbeing. It's actually one of the best ways to give your mind a break and reconnect with who you are. At your core. Even just a few moments of [00:06:00] play can change how you feel. It could be as simple as doodling in a notebook or singing along to your favorite song in the car. The key to embrace these small moments and let go of the need for everything to be productive or perfect. Remember hobbies. Aren't about checking a box. they're about experiencing joy. In the moment. So in this episode, we're going to talk about how to break free from the need to be perfect. Embraced play as a form of self care. And find ways to weave those little moments of joy back into your life. Because reconnecting with your passions and ultimately with yourself. Doesn't require perfection or productivity. It just requires a little curiosity. And the willingness to play. 

So, how do we actually get started rediscovering hobbies when life is already full of obligations? The answer lies in approaching hobbies with a spirit [00:07:00] of playful exploration. Rather than pressure. Let's talk about two fun ways that you can dip your toes into hobbies. Without worrying about being perfect or mastering anything. 

The first idea is the hobby sampling challenge. Now, one of the best ways. To rediscover what lights you up? Is by experimenting. I call this the hobby sampling challenge. The idea is to choose three to five activities that you'd never tried before, or you haven't done in years. The goal here isn't to commit to these activities longterm. It's to play, explore and see what sparks your interest. Think of it as a little adventure into things that could bring you joy. Here are a few examples to help you get started. Put on a dance video on YouTube and let yourself move. 

How ever you want. No choreography needed. Or write a short poem or doodle something silly just to see where your creativity [00:08:00] takes you. Sign up for a pottery or painting class, knowing that it doesn't matter what you make. Take a walk without a destination, just like curiosity guide you. Grab some paints or markers and create something purely for fun without worrying about the result. The important thing to remember is that this is about enjoyment, not mastery. 

You're not trying to become a world-class dancer, an artist, or a poet. You're just letting yourself explore new experiences and see what feels good. It's about having fun, laughing at yourself. If you mess up, which is a required. Part of this and letting go of the idea that you need to be good at everything. The second idea I have is to make. Tiny moments of play. In everyday life. So now I get it. Between kids work and everything else, finding time for hobbies can really [00:09:00] feel overwhelming. But play doesn't have to take hours. In fact, some of the best moments of play can happen right. 

During your daily routine. Here are a few easy ways that you can sneak playful moments into your day. While you're waiting for the positive oil or the laundry to finish, grab a notebook and just doodle. Listen to a podcast or an audio book on a totally random topic. Something you wouldn't normally explore. Play with textures or sensory activities. 

Try some stress-relief slime. Kinetic sand or even a fidget toy. use your walk from the car to the store as a little adventure. What cool or funny things, do you notice along the way? Sing loudly to your favorite song in the car. Or dance around the kitchen while making dinner. 

All of these things don't even need to be done alone. You can [00:10:00] engage in play. And bring your family into the equation. These playful moments don't require any special setups skill or extra time there about letting yourself experience joy in the moment without pressure. The beauty is that even small bursts of play. Can change how you feel. Helping you reconnect with a sense. of, fun and lightness. That often gets lost in the busy-ness of motherhood. 

No. I know some of you might be thinking. 

But what if I don't know what I like to do anymore? Hey. That's completely. Okay. One way to uncover what brings you joy? Is through reflection. Take a few moments, grab a notebook and write in response to this prompt. what activities. Have always made me feel alive. [00:11:00] Regardless of how good I was at then. This could be anything. Maybe you loved biking as a kid baking with your grandma. Journaling your thoughts or learning new languages. The key is to think about the times when you felt fully yourself. When you were in the moment, lost in the flow and having fun. Without caring about how good or productive you were. Once you've written down a few ideas, look at them and ask yourself, how could I reintroduce some of these experiences? Even in small ways. Because maybe it's not realistic to ride a bike every day. But what if you went on a bike ride once a month? Or maybe you can't bake every weekend. But you could try a new recipe now and then just for fun. The goal here is to give yourself permission to explore experiment and play. You don't need to be great at these things. 

Just curious enough to just give them a try. Because ultimately play isn't about the activity [00:12:00] itself. It's about how it makes you feel. And if you allow yourself even a few moments of playful exploration, You might be surprised by what you discover about yourself. One of the biggest reasons. It can be hard for moms to embrace hobbies is because we get stuck in the cycle of perfectionism and productivity. We've been taught to believe that if we're going to spend some time on something, it should either have a measurable outcome. Or serve a purpose, whether that's making money, improving a skill or being productive in some way. But hobbies are meant to be different. They give us a rare and valuable space where it's safe to be imperfect. think about it. 

Hobbies don't need to be turned into side hustles. Competitions or lifelong commitments. You don't need to paint well enough to sell your artwork or get so good at yoga that you can teach classes. You're allowed to do things just because they feel good. Because they bring you [00:13:00] joy or give your brain a break from the constant demands of life. It's easy to fall into the trap of thinking. 

If I can't Excel at this, why even bother. But what if we just let go of that mindset? What if we gave ourselves permission to try things mess up? And enjoy the process without worrying about how good we are or what anyone else thinks. When we approach hobbies in this way. We opened the door to an experience that is rare for moms, a space that's just for us. And guess what hobbies? 

Aren't just fun. They're also really good. For our mental health. Engaging in activities that you enjoy can significantly reduce anxiety. When you immerse yourself in something playful, whether that's journaling, gardening, dancing, it helps quiet. The racing thoughts that can come with stress. Your mind gets a break. And for a little [00:14:00] while you're fully present in the moment. Hobbies can enhance your self esteem too. 

When you give yourself permission to explore and enjoy things. You build a sense of identity that goes beyond the roles that you play in everyday life. Instead of you're defining yourself only by how well you manage the household. Parent your kids or perform at work. Hobbies allow you to discover new sides of yourself. You might even surprise yourself. by uncovering a passion that you didn't know was even there. This is such an important piece of reclaiming your sense of self. When we become moms, so much of our identity gets tied up in caregiving. 

We're constantly meeting other people's needs and it can feel like there's no room left for us. Hobbies, give us that room. They remind us that we are more than the roles we play. They allow us to ask questions, like, what do I enjoy? What makes me feel alive? Who am I. [00:15:00] When I'm not wearing the mom hat. And in finding those answers, we start to reconnect with who we are at our core. That process of exploring hobbies. Can be one of the most powerful ways to build a sense of identity and joy beyond motherhood. So if you've been feeling lost, In the shuffle of parenting. Or have you been craving more joy in your life? Hobbies might be exactly what you need. remember this isn't about being perfect or productive. It's about rediscovering. 

What makes you feel alive? And giving yourself permission to play. Explore. And just be. You deserve that space. And you deserve that joy. Let's face it. Finding time for hobbies can feel like one of the biggest hurdles as a mom. Between kids' work and the never ending to do It might seem impossible to carve out space for something as frivolous as play. But the good news is you don't need hours to make [00:16:00] hobbies meaningful. In fact, just a few intentional minutes here and there. Can have a huge impact. 

It's easy to think. If I can spend an hour on this, why even bother. But here's the thing short bursts of play are still valuable. Even 10 or 15 minutes spent on something you enjoy can make a huge difference. You could take a quick walk, play with paints for a few minutes or dance to your favorite song while waiting for, for dinner to cook. These little moments at. And they remind us. That our joy and interests matter. Another helpful approach is setting aside a small block of time each week. Even if it's for only 30 minutes, just for exploration. A date with yourself. Maybe it's Saturday morning when you try a new hobby. Or a midweek evenings spent journaling. The [00:17:00] key is to make a little space. Knowing that it's not about how much time you spend. It's about making yourself a priority, even in small ways. 

Now let's talk about that inner voice. 

We all know. So well. The one that says this is a waste of time. You should be doing something more productive. I call her the inner mean girl. It's easy to feel that leisure is indulgent. Especially when we're conditioned to think that every moment must serve a purpose. But the truth is leisure. Is essential. It's not just a break. 

It's a way to reset, recharge and reconnect. With who you are. When the inner mean girl pipes up. 

Try reframing. What she saying? With this mantra. I deserve joy. That doesn't [00:18:00] need to be productive. This simple shift. Remind you that your worth isn't tied to how much you accomplish. Joy fun and play are just as important as the tasks. On your to-do list. In fact their fuel. They make it easier to show up fully for yourself and your family. Another way to read night. 

Your passion for hobbies is by connecting with others. Shared experiences have a way of amplifying joy and keeping us motivated. Consider joining a hobby class or trying an online challenge with friends. You could join a local painting group, a book club, or even an online yoga community. Not only do these connections, make hobbies more fun. But they also remind you that you're not alone. Which is powerful. There's something really special. About sharing play with others. 

It reinforces that joy is a priority worth celebrating. Not just a [00:19:00] personal indulgence. So to wrap this all up, reclaiming hobbies, doesn't have to mean a complete lifestyle overhaul. It starts with small, meaningful moments. 10 minutes here, 30 minutes there combined with a shift in mindset. Leisure is essential. 

Self-care not frivolous. And if you can find ways to share those moments with others. That's icing on the cake. You deserve to feel joy, connection and fulfillment, and it starts by giving yourself permission to explore what makes you come alive. All right. Let's recap. What we've talked about today. Rediscovering your passions isn't about performance or productivity. It's about curiosity. And play. It's about giving yourself permission to explore what brings you joy? Without the pressure to be perfect or achieve anything tangible. Play allows you to reconnect with the parts of yourself. That may have [00:20:00] been overshadowed by the demands of motherhood. And it's okay if it's messy. Imperfect or spontaneous in fact, That's the beauty of it. Now here's my challenge for you. Over the next week. 

Try out the hobby sampling challenge. Remember, just pick three to five activities, something new or something you haven't done in years and give yourself permission to just play. Whether you dance in your living room, try your hand at painting or explore a random hobby. Approach it with curiosity. And see what sparks joy. Remember the goal isn't to master anything it's simply to enjoy the process. I'd love to hear about your discoveries. 

If you're comfortable, share your experience on social media and tag me, or use hashtag moms without capes, you can also join the conversation over in the moms without capes, Facebook, community. Where we're cheering each other on this journey, [00:21:00] our free connecting with ourselves. Finally, don't forget. Play isn't just for kids. It's for you too. Now I have an awesome resource for you, something that will help you on your way to reclaiming your sense of self beyond motherhood. Making space for self care, hobbies and fun is impossible. When you're carrying the full load of domestically labor. Having it to do list that runs a mile long and doing it all yourself. Can lead straight to burnout. 

It can be devastating to your health and to your relationships. I created this. guide. That will walk you through how to share the load. It includes some conversation starters tips for managing expectations and practical strategies for redistributing household and childcare tasks. Grab your guy today by visiting moms without capes.com backslash share the load. Or just go in the show notes and click the link. [00:22:00] Thanks for listening to this episode of moms without capes. As you learned from listening, you deserve moments of joy, fun, and exploration, not just as a mom. But as the amazing person that you are. Make space for joy. 

Let curiosity guide you and allow yourself to play. You've earned it. Remember you are 100% responsible for your own life and for creating the joy that you want to feel. Stop living on autopilots, slow down. Check in with yourself and please above all. Take care of yourself because you, my friend. Are worth it.